Unexpected
by Keelar
Summary: Accidents happen, especially when you rely on the taint as a form of contraception. Post Blight. Eventual Fem!Surana/Alistair
1. Chapter 1: Homecoming

**_A/N__: Unbeta'd like all my work, if you see any glaring mistakes please let me know. :D _**

**_A post blight story which will never be canon but I've tried to keep it as close to the original story as possible. As you can see I'm not great at naming my stories xD_**

**_Summary__: Accidents happen, especially when you rely on the taint as a form of contraception. _**

**_Pairing__: Eventual Fem!Surana/Alistair_**

**_Disclaimer__: Don't own Dragon Age or it's characters, just enjoy writing about them._**

_**Unexpected**_

_**Chapter 1: Homecoming**_

Wynne sat at her desk, letters overflowing the wooden surface. Rain beat down on the window and thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance, not that Wynne paid the weather any mind. She currently sat thumbing through another set of letters, each with the same hurried scrawl across them. A small sigh escaped her as she re-read the last of many letters.

_Wynne._

_Has she come home?_

_Alistair_

It had been nearly nine months since the Hero of Ferelden had vanished into the night without even a word. Wynne had gone to wake her and found only a cold bed and a single rose resting on a pillow. Telling Alistair had been the hardest part, he'd smiled and joked, said she'd probably set out to save another far off land or to stock up on his cheese. But his eyes, his eyes had given him away, they always did.

She stayed by his side as an advisor for a while and for the most part he'd seemed happy, at night though it was clear it was all an act. She'd woken many a night to see him pacing in the library or staring out windows towards the Circle Tower. After two weeks and no word the true hunt began, not just for Alistair's sake but because the Chantry began complaining too.

Nera was a mage it didn't matter that she'd struck down the Archdemon, in their eyes she was an apostate now. Finding her would have been simple, should have been simple, but Alistair had provided her with a boon before she left. An act of kindness gone awry, he'd destroyed her phylactery. So Wynne and Alistair covered it up best they could saying she was away on Warden business, but the Revered Mother did not seem convinced. Wynne knew there was more to the tale of the phylactery than Alistair would let on, but didn't push him.

All too soon it was time for Wynne to return to the Tower, it needed help rebuilding no matter how much Alistair needed her. When she left Alistair had promised to write and keep in touch, and write he had.

Once a week, for nine months. Wind, rain and shine, the letters always made it.

At first they were simply letters from one friend to another.

_How're you? Have you turned anyone into a toad? Sorry to hear about the First Enchanter, but congratulations on your promotion. Any word on Nera? Has Nera been in touch? Leliana wrote to you? Has Zevran visited? Have they heard from Nera? _

Nera. Nera. Nera. Soon that's all Alistair would write about, how the Dalish were searching their forests, how the dwarfs in Orzammar would send word if they saw her. Soon enough his letters degraded into one sentence each and every week.

_Has she come home?_

Wynne was getting too old for this, she didn't have much time left and she was spending her last few years attending to a lovesick King and hunting for a runaway. It was a futile quest anyway Wynne knew Nera well enough to know that she'd be found when she wanted to be, until then they could only wait and pray to the Maker that she hadn't run into trouble.

Not that Wynne could blame her for running, it had been foolish no doubt and irresponsible, running away from her duties. But she understood, after Alistair's tactless rejection of her at the Landsmeet it had taken Nera a lot to plaster on her brave face a solider on, but Wynne heard her that very night, the sobs had practically echoed around her room.

Wynne couldn't begrudge her a little "Me time" after everything she'd done for Ferelden and everything she'd sacrificed. She'd warned them both, warned them that their relationship was dangerous and that one day duty would come first, but she never expected Alistair to be so _cruel_. Breaking her heart in front of all of them. If anything she thought Nera would be the one to hurt Alistair, she was even more tactless than him.

Slumping further into her chair and discarding the last letter she closed her eyes before the throbbing behind her eyes could become a full headache. She should really write back to Alistair, but writing _'No' _on a piece of parchment seemed such a waste.

Against her will she found herself drifting to sleep.

***

A crack of thunder, a flash of lightening and her office door being thrown open wretched Wynne from her dreams. She barely had time to wipe the sleep from her eyes before the mage that had barged into her room spoke.

"Senior Enchanter Wynne, there's a situation in the entrance hallway, I think you'll want to see this."

Wynne pulled herself from her chair and motioned for the mage to lead the way, they walked quickly through already brimming corridors packed full of mages. Wynne frowned at them as she passed and they began to hurry back to their quarters, if a little reluctantly. Something had really got them interested.

She entered the entrance and stood in dumbfounded shock. Nera. There she stood in all her glory. Muddy, bloody and soaking wet. She seemed to have something stuffed up her robe though, one hand rested protectively over it whilst another wielded a slowly growing ball of flames.

"Stay back, stay back or I will kill you, Maker as my witness." Nera's voice sounded tired and weak, but that same determination she was known for still rung out. Wynne hadn't noticed the Templar until now, too transfixed on the fact that Nera had strolled back into her life just as quickly and easily as she'd left it. They advanced slowly, swords ready and prepared to dispel the ball of flames that could be launched at them any second. The Knight Commander stood back from them eyeing the newcomer nervously, clearly unsure if he'd seen Nera before, Wynne decided she'd better intervene.

"Greagoir, King Alistair will not approve if you run a sword through the Hero of Ferelden."

Nera's head swivelled round quickly and their eyes met. Nera gave her a weak smile and let the fire that had been dancing at her fingertips disintegrate. Trust shining in blue eyes that warmed Wynne's heart to see after all these months. The Templar's stopped too, knowing the situation had been resolved now Wynne was there, after all the Knight Commander trusted Wynne.

Nera dropped to her knees suddenly and Wynne hurried towards her. And that was when she realised, she wasn't hiding a package. The bulge straining beneath her robes was her stomach.

She was pregnant. And from the looks of it close to bursting.

Nera looked up at Wynne, wet blonde hair stuck to the side of her face from rain, forehead clammy with sweat.

"Wynne, help me." She sounded so lost and desperate. Wynne was still reeling at the latest discovery to do anything other than nod. Nera, pregnant?! How? With who? Some silly one night stand to get over Alistair? Or had she fallen in love all over again whilst she was away? Whatever had happened she needed looking after.

Recognising one of the Templar's as Cullen, she got him to pick up the nearly lifeless form of Nera and carry her to the First Enchanter's quarters. Following behind Wynne was slowly gathering her composure, she had a lot to do and she could get her answers later. She needed to get Nera warm and comfortable, get her some food and something to drink, who knew how far she'd travelled! Once she was settled she could figure out how long until the baby was due and gather the necessary potions and poultices required.

As they reached her quarters a thought struck her and a small groan escaped her.

How was she going to tell Alistair about this?!

***

_Alistair_

_Nera is home. Sit back down and finish reading the letter before you rush here to see her. Very good._

_I would advise against seeing her for the moment, she is currently unwell but being well taken care of by myself. I will see it as a personal insult if you arrive now, I am quite capable taking care of her on my own. Remember you have a kingdom to run before you do anything rash. She arrived two nights ago, exhausted and soaking wet, the silly girl. But you know Nera, she wanted to come to the Circle so she did._

_Her condition is…surprising…to say the least, but treatable and she'll be perfectly fine. Don't panic and stay where you are! Once she's more coherent I'll send word for you to come see her. I can't really go into anymore details at the moment, but I assure you again that she'll be completely fine. _

_I've written to Leliana for her to come a visit so Nera can have another familiar face. Of course you'd be my first choice Alistair but due to your history with Nera and your own duties I have to make sure she's willing to see you, you understand don't you?_

_Stay where you are! I'll see you soon enough._

_Wynne._

Alistair read the letter, then re-read the letter. A servant walked by startling him into action.

"You! Yes you! Go to the stables, get the fastest horse I have ready. I'll be down there in five minutes. And get Arl Eamon for me."

The servant bowed and left quickly. After giving the Arl a hurrid explanation Alistair donned his armour and began his journey to the Circle of Magi.

***

Next Chapter: Nera's Story.

Feedback always appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2: Nera's Story

A/N: Thanks to all that reviewed, you all made my day, I promise I'll respond soon. Had lots of exams so updates are slow. However I have got another five chapters written in rough draft, so updates should be getting more frequent :)

**Chapter 2: Nera's Story**

Opening her eyes a crack and focusing her sleep fogged mind Nera greeted the day less than enthusiastically. The day got increasingly worse when she realised the fuzzy human-shaped blob above her was in fact Wynne and she looked less than amused. Brows were furrowed, the lips pressed into a thin line, but it was the concern in Wynne's blue eyes that made Nera fully force her own eyes open.

Wynne stumbled back, slightly startled before recovering herself and levelling a glare at her, placing both hands on hips in the process, looking very much like a mother chastising a child. Mind still foggy all Nera could do was offer her a weak, apologetic smile before shifting into an upright position. Blearily she wonder how she'd gotten into a bed, never mind stripped down to her underwear. She eyed the seat beside the crackling fireplace, noticing her robes lying across it's arm.

Memories danced around Nera's mind, throwing herself into full wakefulness. Her hands reached down instinctively to stroke her stomach. She'd made it to the Circle safely and they hadn't harmed her or her unborn baby, she let the relief rush over her for a moment. Then, after gathering courage, she looked up to face Wynne.

Wynne had been merely observing her, noticing the small smile on the Elven woman's face as she stroked her stomach protectively, eyes full of warmth and adoration. So many questions were leaping around her mind that she didn't know where to start, didn't know if she should be telling off the runaway mage or just thanking the Maker that she'd even bothered to return. She couldn't pretend she wasn't happy to see the woman again, but Nera always attracted trouble and it seemed she'd attracted a whole horde of trouble now.

"So you're back."

Nera only nodded, hands still resting lightly on her bare stomach. Nera had been a woman of few words, as a child she had been skilled in the arcane ways but painfully shy, or so Irving had said. She had only been close to Jowan at the tower and didn't seem to need anyone else. She had her studying to keep her occupied and when she needed someone there was always Jowan. Then he betrayed her, shattering her ability to trust and forcing her further into her shell. The way Irving told it Nera was practically dragged away from the Tower, unwilling to leave the safety and familiarity of a place she now called home.

However her time as a Warden had forced her out of her shell more. She had been thrust into leadership and began to develop confidence quickly. As a result people began to see the real Nera creeping out from under her shy exterior. They saw her laugh, she had a wicked sense of humour at times. Saw the tears well up in her eyes but never fall, even when she felt she'd failed. Some unfortunate souls had even been subjected to her anger, all the more fiery and explosive because of all she kept bottled up. Yet she was always wary and secretive, as if still afraid to trust and confide in her companions.

And then Alistair had happened…

Wynne shook away the idle thoughts and focused on the situation at hand; a very pregnant Nera turning up out of nowhere.

"Where have you been? We've all be extremely worried Nera."

Nera felt guilt grip her and her face flush. She hadn't even considered leaving a note before she left, she hadn't really thought they'd come looking for her. She'd been selfish leaving Wynne, Zevran, Leliana, Oghren, Sten and- her heart clenched painfully- Alistair. But it had been the right thing, she'd thought through every scenario and this had been the right one. The only one.

"I'm sorry Wynne, I didn't want to worry you. Any of you. I've been staying in the Koceari Wilds." She shifted in the bed, her back aching from the hunched position she was in as well as the heavy weight of her stomach that she had been carrying around. "Do you mind if I get dressed and sit by the fire? I have a feeling this is going to take some explaining."

Wynne nodded her consent and sat herself in the chair adjacent. Nera dragged herself out of the bed slowly, Wynne waited patiently and couldn't help thinking that Nera looked painfully fragile, her small formed seemed to be being crushed by her vast stomach. She'd seen Nera cast spells whilst dodging Ogre's, seen her plunge a sword into the scaled head of the Archdemon, fragile should not be a word to describe Nera. And yet there she was, currently struggling to get her tight robes on, dark rings under her eyes even though she'd been asleep for over a day.

Grabbing a blanket off the bed Nera lowered herself into the soft chair, wrapping herself tightly in the fabric, her stomach still clearly visible beneath the layers. Once comfortable she offered Wynne another smile which wasn't returned.

"Why were you in the Wilds?"

"I needed somewhere to stay, somewhere I could be alone."

"We all know the darkspawn still lurk in those parts from time to time, you put yourself at great risk and for what Nera? Some peace and quiet? You could have returned here and been safe."

Nera's eyes flashed with an emotion Wynne could not read.

"I couldn't return here Wynne, I'd tasted freedom like I'd never known, done so many wonderful yet dangerous things in such a short time. Learned so much. Returning here would have been like returning to a prison, I've changed Wynne. We all have. I could not be content with this life anymore and you know it."

Wynne knew it, of course she knew it. She hadn't wanted to return either, she'd wanted to travel and have her own adventure before her days drew to a close. But she'd stayed, she hadn't run away from duty. But then her life was nearly over and Nera's just beginning, could she be angry that Nera had done something she herself might have done had she been younger?

"And how did you live in such a place?"

"I lived in Flemeth's hut, I'd travel into a nearby town occasionally for food. I went back to Lothering too, it was horrible…"

Nera's eyes clouded over as she remembered the destroyed town. The Chantry's fine building collapsed, hands protruding from the rubble as people had tried to claw their way out of the debris. Bodies littered the streets and blood stained the buildings. Her stomach began to churn and it took Nera a moment to realise it wasn't just from the remembered scenes.

She leapt from her chair and placed a hand over her mouth, readying herself to run to the nearest washroom. Wynne grabbed her arm and presented her with a sturdy, silver bucket in which she quickly empted the contents of her stomach into.

Once the retching was over and she'd washed her mouth out with water provided by Wynne. She settled back into her chair, Wynne was smiling at her gently, a sympathy etched on her face.

"It's been nearly nine months, I hoped the sickness would have worn off by now."

Wynne chuckled "I understand, which is why I had kept the bucket handy. My son had me with my head in a chamber pot morning, noon and night. Luckily only for a month. But it does point out the most pressing issue at hand."

Nera sighed and nodded, she knew she'd have to explain eventually, coming back to the Tower meant she had too.

"How did this happen Nera?"

"I believe you of all people know where babies come from Wynne."

"I guess what I meant was when did you realise?"

The day Nera discovered her pregnancy had been both the worst and best day of her life. Sitting in the chilly hut that she called home, one month after abandoning her old life to start anew. She'd been calling upon her arcane powers, feeling the magic tingle through her, caressing her every sense. She knew the feeling well. She was shocked when she felt something her magic was dancing around, something living and growing, in her womb.

She'd been so happy, she was with child! Her own baby, something that couldn't be snatched away from her, something she could love endlessly regardless of what happened. But she felt dread too, fear for herself and her unborn child. Bringing a child into a world ravaged by darkspawn Fear because this was another one of those things she'd never done before and this time she'd have to do it alone.

But what could she tell Wynne, if she was too specific she might figure out her secret.

"I realised some time after I left Denerim. I felt strange, calling upon my powers became harder and I could sense my child's presence." A half-truth, but true enough.

Wynne only nodded once, understanding the strange feelings all too well.

"And the father? Was this planned, you weren't…attacked were you?"

"No it wasn't planned, but I wasn't attacked either, I doubt anyone would be foolish enough to attack the Hero of Ferelden now would they?" She chuckled then became serious "The father turned his back on me."

Wynne's eyes widened but she said nothing. They sat in companionable silence for some time, the crackling of the fire was the only sound in the room. Then Wynne let out a pained sigh.

"You do know that you can't keep it Nera."

"What?!"

"The Chantry will take your babe away. You know the rules."

"I am not a Circle mage anymore, I only returned because I needed help with childbirth and you were the only person I could think of. But rest assured once my child is born I will be leaving and my child will be coming with me, even if I have to litter the Tower with bodies of mages, Templar's and Chantry priests."

"Nera!"

"Don't _Nera _me Wynne, you regret the loss of your son, I will not allow people to force me to live a life of regret just because they believe all magic wielders are sinners. I have as much right as anyone else to have a child! I've done enough for Ferelden to be allowed to raise my own child!"

"You're not the woman I met at Ostagar! The Nera I spoke to then valued Ferelden over her own life. This selfish woman here can't be Nera Surana."

"You're right I'm not that same woman, I changed the day I was dragged from the Tower, the only home I've ever known. Changed when I was forced to choose between blood magic and a village, or when I had to choose between the man I love and Ferelden, or maybe it happened when I plunged a sword into a dragon's skull. These sort of things change people Wynne! So maybe I'm selfish, but all I want is this child, I gave up so much, just let me have this."

Wynne was gob smacked. Silence hung in the air, oppressive and suffocating. Nera's face was twisted into a scowl, her breathing heavy after her outburst. Nera did deserve it, Wynne knew that, but the Chantry wouldn't allow it. Hero or no hero. They needed someone with power and influence…Someone that had the power to override the Chantry's decisions. Alistair.

"Maybe there's something that can be done, maybe Alistair can talk to the Chantry."

"Alistair was _meant _to be allowing the mage's freedom but as I can see it's still not been done."

"Now Nera don't be unkind, you sound so bitter for a woman of twenty. He's been busy, it's been hard for him you know, what with you gone."

"Yes, I'm sure his kingdom is practically falling apart without me." Sarcasm laced her words and her rolling eyes further portrayed her disbelief.

"You know Nera, I think I might have liked you better when you didn't talk. Who would have know you'd have such an uncivilised tongue." Nera laughed, it wasn't the musical laugh of Leliana or the loud booming laugh of Alistair, it was quiet, barely louder than a whisper but it chased away the dark atmosphere that had crept into the room.

"All that time in the wilderness must have made me quite the barbarian." Nera bared her teeth and growled in mock ferocity, Wynne chuckled at her antic. "But on a serious not, I'd prefer it if you didn't tell Alistair I'm here just yet, at least not until my baby is born."

Wynne's eyes shot to the floor and she fidgeted a little in her chair.

"Well you see Nera, he's been very worried. He's written to me once a week, every week. So you see I had too-"

The door swung open with a loud creak and hit the wall with a thud. Standing in the doorway was a windswept and muddy King of Ferelden. He strode into the room with purpose, anger dancing in his eyes, he opened his month and stopped dead. He tried opening his mouth again, before snapping it closed once more, eyes bulging as he scanned Nera's frame. Nera shot Wynne a horrified look before schooling her features into an impassive mask.

"What's that?" Alistair weekly, finger pointing at Nera's protruding stomach.

"I believe it's called a stomach." The hands wrapped tighter around her belly, knees brought up as if to shield it from the accusing finger. There was a slight tremor in her voice, yet her overall outward appearance barely gave away the emotional turmoil within.

"I know it's a stomach! But what's _in _it? Please tell me you're just smuggling stolen goods…"

"Last time I checked it was a baby, but don't worry Alistair I'm sure it'll be out soon enough." She offered him a sly smile, whilst inside she prayed that he couldn't see her trembling. "But thank you for the concern, my stomach is very grateful."

Alistair's eyes widened slightly and he let his hand drop down to his side. Noticing Wynne for the first time Alistair turned too her.

"Wynne, can we have a moment please?"

Wynne was stuck, she wanted to stay and be there for Nera. She'd been through a lot and Alistair's appearance would only cause her distress. Yet Alistair was like a son to her and she knew how much Nera meant to him and the sooner he realised she was unavailable the more likely he'd settle down and become the king Ferelden needed.

Grey eyes locked with blue and Nera gave a quick nod of consent.

"Don't take long Alistair, she's been asleep for days and needs food. You have half an hour. Nera dear, I'll bring you a meal up later on."

"Thank you Wynne."

Alistair didn't speak, eyes transfixed on Nera and her stomach. Wynne left silently and sent a silent prayer to the Maker that the meeting wouldn't end as badly as she felt it would.

***

This got edited, the re-edited...and so on. I'm still not happy with it, hopefully you like it anyway.

Next Chapter: A Moment.


	3. Chapter 3: A Moment

**A moment **

Nera sat silently as Wynne exited the room, mentally preparing herself for the conversation with Alistair. She needed to be calm and collected and not to let him provoke any kind of emotion from her, because if he did he'd have won. It would show him she still cared about him, because she only got angry when she cared about something. She only got angry when she wanted to fight for something.

She couldn't let him know he still owned her heart, lest he break it all over again.

So she sat and waited until the door clicked shut. Alistair stared at her, his eyes storming with countless emotions. The atmosphere was tense, the air heavy, time felt like it had slowed just to drag out this painful moment.

"You left." Nera couldn't decide if he sounded desperate or angry, maybe a mixture of both?

"I did, I've also come back."

Alistair's eyes darkened, his brow furrowed and his arms came to cross against his chest.

"You said you'd stay with me."

"You'll find I didn't."

Alistair searched his muddled memories for a time when everything was simpler.

***

Nera stood by the window of her bedroom, the silvery moonlight outlined her lithe body in it's pale glow. He stood by her chamber door and just watched her for a moment. They hadn't spoken since the slaying of the Archdemon and the brief instance they had she had averted her gaze from his and answered in one word responses. And that had been months ago.

It had driven him almost mad, seeing her nearly everyday and yet not a kind word spoken between them. Well it was time to put an end to it once and for all. He needed her, he needed to see her smile and hear her quiet laugher, needed to see her face redden in anger and see tears she rarely ever spilt. And he was going to get her, Maker willing.

"Not planning on throwing yourself out of there I hope."

He delighted in seeing her jump in surprise and shoot a glare at him. Because it was something, a reaction even if it was a small one. He chuckled as he entered the room fully, closing the door behind him quietly. He wanted to talk in private, not that the servants would be about at this hour, but one could never be too sure. People loved to gossip after all.

"I wasn't, but then you showed up." Alistair grinned wider, so the kitten had brought out her claws? About time too. She needed to let this anger out, let him know how much he'd hurt her because then she might listen to him. She might forgive him and come back.

When he ended things she'd said nothing. She hadn't begged for him to stay, or offered an alternative solution, she just agreed. And for some reason that had hurt him, maybe because she'd found it so easy to just turn away? As if he'd meant nothing to her, as if she'd never loved him.

"Ouch, that hurt." He clutched his heart for added effect, but she didn't spare him a glance. She merely continued her diligent watch of the moon. He sighed and approached her cautiously, moving silently across room without his heavy armour.

"What do you want Alistair?"

"To talk…To make things better?"

"I think you've said everything that needed to be said." Nera looked at him then, her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Guilt dug it's talons into him and he closed the gap between them, taking hold of her arms and pressing her body into his.

For a mere moment she relaxed into his touch before pushing herself away. Alistair stood motionless as Nera turned on him, fire in her eyes. He felt a mixture of dread and triumph as Nera's calm and polite exterior cracked.

"How dare you! Was trampling over me once not enough for you?! Don't you think you did a good enough job the first time?"

"No, no, no! Nera, I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know what to do, everything happened too quickly. I just want to fix this."

"Really Alistair? And how do you plan to do that? Find me a husband whilst you wife shop?" She let out a bitter laugh. Then began pacing the room, anger fuelling every step. "Of course I need all the help I can get, a mage, an elf and a Warden. A man would have to be mad to settle down with me."

"Don't talk like that, any man would be lucky to have you. I'd be lucky to have you. You don't think I could do you? Have you I mean?"

Nera stopped her pacing and stared at him. The anger that had erupted so quickly vanished, curiosity and coldness taking it's place. Her eyes looked him over, assessing him, her face quizzical. Finally she sat down on the edge of her bed, rested her hand on her chin and stared.

Alistair felt his face begin to flush as her stare didn't waver, he began fidgeting on the spot. The silence continued.

"What're you saying Alistair?"

"I want you to stay with me. Be with me like we were before. I can't marry you Nera, I need to produce an heir, but that doesn't mean we can't be what we were."

"I don't know who put this crazy idea of marriage in your head, we've never even spoken about it before. I was perfectly content with what we had."

"Me too! I miss that Nera, so stay with me, please?"

"But you'll still need to produce an heir."

"Well…yes…eventually. But I thought that maybe it wouldn't matter to you. Maybe you'd stay by my side anyway. After Morrigan-"

"Are you asking me to be your mistress Alistair?"

"Andraste's flaming sword no!-Well-not in those words!"

"I see."

He crouched down in front of her, brown eyes pleading. They had shared so many firsts together, she couldn't turn her back on them could she? After everything they'd done. He slept with Morrigan for her. He wouldn't even take a wife for a little while so what did it matter? She'd always have his heart anyway, and any woman willing to marry him would know that. She was the one that taught him life was cruel and unfair, that he should look out for himself more. So he was damn it!

She looked unsure, her eyes darted everywhere but at his face. He needed to make her see, see how much he loved her. Moving lightening fast he cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers. It had been months since they'd done this and he'd almost forgot her taste, her texture, her smell.

For one tortuous moment he thought she was going to pull away. Then she relaxed and began kissing back, her soft lips caressing his senses. Soon he was kissing her deeper, drinking in her minty taste, hands began to roam. One on her lower back pushing her body closer to his. One hand raked through his hair whilst the other clawed at his tunic in a fevered attempt to feel flesh against flesh, until finally slipping beneath the fabric. He shuddered as feather-light touches danced along his spine.

Before he knew how, he was pressed above her, kissing her neck tenderly whilst mischievous hands tried to remove her robes. Touching her gently, calloused fingers trailed up her leg until it reached her thigh. Nera's eyes snapped open, the look of lust cleared from her eyes, soon she was squirming against him, trying to escape.

"Alistair, we can't do this. It's not right."

Can't do this? Not right? He thinks he must be going mad because how could this not be right? She's beautiful and beneath him and so very close to being his all over again. She needs to stop thinking. Because this feeling is right. They love each other. But he realises she's scared, afraid she'll get her heart broken. Again.

"Just for tonight?"

She didn't answer, instead she pressed her lips against his once again, melting into his embrace. The tumbled into the bed together, a tangle of limbs, passion guiding their every move.

Once their lust had run it's course Alistair draped his arms around Nera's waist and drifted into dreamless sleep, unaware that his lover lay wide awake planning her escape.

***

"So that night meant nothing to you then?"

"Do you know me so little that you even have to ask that question?"

"Then how could you-" Alistair paused, desperately seeking the right words to make this mess vanish "-Why did you leave."

"I had to Alistair." It was true. She couldn't stay there, she needed to get away and think. Plan her next move. She couldn't be with Alistair anymore, Nera knew that. So she needed to escape, the longer she stayed around him the harder it would become to leave. And it was already hard enough.

"What about your duty? You can't just run away in the middle of the night then come back all pregnant! "Hero's have responsibilities you know!"

It was like a switch went off in Nera's brain. She felt her blood boiling, resentment burst to the surface to claw at the sane and composed part of her mind. That he should bring talk of responsibility and duties when he was prepared to shirk his own, after all initially he never wanted to be king, hell he hadn't even wanted to lead their party despite being the senior Warden!

"My duty!? I suggest you focus on your own duty before questioning my loyalties. What have you done since being crowned? Have you helped the Alienage? I see the Tower still stands and is packed full of mages and Templar alike, so you've clearly not allowed them any freedom. And the Dalish, they've still not had land returned to them I hear. I've been in hiding not dead Alistair, do you think I know nothing? I plan to continue my work as a Warden once my child is born, what's your excuse?"

"I…This isn't about me! How do you plan to recruit Wardens with a screaming child following you around?"

"I managed to keep you alive throughout the Blight, it can't be much harder than that!"

That stung. "Whose is it?" Alistair didn't even think, the words came tumbling out his mouth unbidden. Nera's knuckles clenched into her lap and her glare intensified, Alistair found himself wishing he'd burst into flames.

"Excuse me?! _Whose is it?_ The baby is mine, that's whose!"

"You know what I mean, whose the father?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business."

"Of course it's my business!" Alistair needed to know who had claimed Nera's heart with such ease, who had given her something he never could. His rage fuelled his foolishness. "I'm the one that's going to have to talk to the Chantry about this. So tell me, I deserve that much don't I?"

"You forfeited any right you had over me when you turned your back on me for a shiny crown. I am a Warden, I answer to no-one, least of all you, Your Majesty."

"You can't just run off and get pregnant Nera, you're a mage!"

"Oh yes, I'm sorry I forgot, you're the only one who can get mage's pregnant. How foolish of me."

Alistair cringed, a malicious part of Nera felt glad.

"Don't."

"Don't what? Don't point out your hypocrisy?"

"That was different."

"Of course it was, you're a human King and I'm a worthless elven mage. Double standards are allowed."

"I only slept with that _**bitch**_ because you asked me too! I'd have sacrificed myself like other Grey Warden's before me, but you asked me. I did it for you."

Nera knew she should feel grateful, because he did save her, in a roundabout way. But she didn't because here he was trying to steal her freedom anyway, maybe she should have sacrificed herself?

"So you save my life, because we both know I would never have let you strike the killing blow, and now I'm not allow to live it?"

"I'm not saying don't live it! I'm saying that we both have duties to attend to and you disappear one day and turning up pregnant another doesn't exactly make things any easier."

"I'm sorry if the thought of being your whore didn't appeal to me-"

"My WHAT?!" Alistair's knuckles clenched, he was shaking with rage. Nera hadn't heard him so outraged since proposing Morrigan's ritual. But his anger was nothing to hers.

"You heard me! You wanted to keep me in that palace as your plaything, not your equal. You wanted me to stand around and watch you court other women then at night sneak into my bed. If you loved me so damn much Alistair why not just defy the Council? Why not insist that I be allowed to stay with you as more than a mere friend?"

Silence stretched between them. Nera didn't know what she wanted him to say, if she wanted him to drop down to his knees and beg for forgiveness or to walk out the room and never come back. Why could nothing in her life ever be simple? She found herself wishing, not for the first time, that Duncan hadn't been at the Tower to save her.

"I-I-I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do!"

Anger consumed Nera once again. He wanted her to lead him again, as if she were freshly recruited into the Wardens and leading them through the Blight. He shouldn't need her guidance, he knew her well enough, claimed to love her once upon a time. If he cared he'd know what to do. But no, he stood before her, the same awkward man who had given her a rose deep in the Brecilian Forest. And damn him for making her love him all the more for it!

"Return to the palace Your Highness and find yourself a pretty noble wife. Do whatever you like, just get out of here."

Alistair snapped out whatever dream he'd been caught in, anger rose to the surface and indignation at the honorific.

"Fine!" Sounding very much like a petulant child, he stormed towards the door. Face twisted with unconcealed anger. Nera watched him go the sadness and regret at seeing him leave again were buried under layers of bitterness and loathing.

"Don't let the door hit your royal arse on the way out."

He pulled the door open violently, then paused, his features softened.

"Maker help me, I still love you."

The door slammed and Nera pretended she didn't flinch.

***

Next Chapter: The King and his Assassin

Sorry about the late update. Happily my exams are now out of the way, however they left me feeling a little drained so writing became difficult. But thanks to everyone who reviewed and have been patient with me for so long! I promise the next update won't be as long. Sorry to all that thought Nera was going to tell Alistair he's the daddy ;)

Maybe he's not....


	4. Chapter 4: The King and his Assassin

A/N: Wow, long time now see. Hope you guys like this new chapter. You'll all get your answers soon!

**The King and his Assassin**

Guilt was a funny thing, it crept up on you when you least suspected it. For Alistair it was a constant companion as he left the Circle, stopping only to say goodbye to his second-no, _first_- favourite mage. The only thing he noticed beside the guilt was that it was raining again, he couldn't help but feel it was appropriate.

For Nera however it was three days after Alistair had departed, in the darkness of her room whilst she tried to sleep, that the guilt finally struck her. When Wynne had informed her Alistair had left the building with a face like thunder and vowing not to step foot in the Tower again she'd only felt smug. She'd driven him away and she was glad, she'd won. Good riddance.

She basked in the glow of her victory even when Wynne had given her a disapproving look and muttered under her breath about selfishness and heartbreak. Nera didn't listen, she was almost euphoric in her defeat of him, who's afraid of big bad Templar's? Not her!

She kept to her room as the days drifted slowly by. Her size didn't allow for much movement, so she busied herself with reading. Coincidentally it meant she was too focused to think of Alistair and his pained expression as he'd left her room. Wynne stayed by her side for the most part, knitting in a corner in a very grandmotherly fashion that always made Nera smile, even though they were never returned. Nor were words.

On the third night however Nera replayed the conversation with Alistair in her head, it was the first time since their confrontation. She cringed whenever she remembered something particularly vicious. But she hadn't done anything wrong had she? She'd been right in a way, she'd never wanted to be Alistair's whore.

_But did you have to be so __**mean**__?_

Had it been mean, or just honest? Alistair was a man you had to be direct with or he'd flounder around in uncertainty and double meanings.

_Alistair was direct with you at the Landsmeet, how did that make you feel?_

But she'd needed to get rid of him, the longer he stayed the harder it would've been to watch him leave again. At least when she drove him away she'd not felt the stab of misery, she'd been in control, unlike the Landsmeet. That's what she thought anyway, but there was that ache in her chest again and maybe it never would go away.

_And what about your baby?_

Nera wished that nasty voice inside her head would shut up for one second and let her sleep, instead of forcing more guilt upon her. Yes she probably needed Alistair's help with the child, he'd need to speak with the Chantry after all.

_Tell him the truth._

Why? Why should she? He didn't deserve it. His attempt at patching things up had gotten her in this mess in the first place. If he'd never left her to begin with he'd have nothing to be sorry for! He turned his back on her so she would do the same to him!

_You love him._

With a sigh Nera forced her eyes closed, shut down her traitorous brain and let sleep claim her.

* * *

A merry knocking at the door roused Nera from her distracted reading.

"Come in."

The door opened with a quiet creak, thick leather boots tapped against the stone floors. Zevran.

"My, my Warden, you've really let yourself go."

Nera lurched out of her seat and walked over the grinning Antivan, her smile as wide as his. She pulled him into a hug and pressed a quick kiss on his tattooed cheek.

"Zev, come, sit down! How've you been?"

"I'm doing better than the King of Ferelden."

Nera felt that guilt again, chewing steadily at her insides, sending her mad. Zevran laughed at her uncomfortable expression.

"Now, now Nera, no need to feel guilty. I so rarely get to see Alistair riled up, it's refreshing!"

He let out a merry chuckle, whilst Nera scowled.

"You're a bad man Zevran."

"Yes, I like to think so."

She smiled at him again, a comfortable silence settling between them. She and Zevran had always been close, their friendship had bloomed quickly much to Alistair's disapproval, whether it was because they were both elves or not she wasn't sure. Zevran was the one to break the silence, always eager to hear the latest gossip.

"Maybe you can tell me what happened, yes?"

Nera beckoned him rowards a seat by the fire. She told Zevran everything about her time away from the Circle, about her trip here and finally her confrontation. She only withheld the story of the babies father. Zevran remained silent and looked thoughtful, a frown marred his tanned brow throughout her storytelling.

"So, my dear, what now?" He asked once she finished.

She knew what she needed to do, she had wanted to do it the moment she'd realised her mistake, "I need to talk to him, apologise for the way I acted. He didn't deserve that, I was a..."

"Cold hearted wench? Yes, yes," Nera frowned at him but he ignored her,"So you wish to reconcile?"

Nera nodded and Zevran grinned. She couldn't help but feel unnerved by the playful glint in his eyes. He stood up quickly and made his way to the door, managing to look stealthy even whilst merely walking. Nera watched him go silently, confused at his sudden departure. He turned to her just as he reached the wooden door, then winked before throwing it open.

"Alistair! It's safe!" Zevran bellowed into the hallway.

Nera's eyes widened as Alistair rounded the corner looking very sheepish. Nera stood slowly, the two men watched her silently.

"You double-crossing, Antivan swine! I should have incinerated you the first time we met!"

Nera lept from her seat and in one quick movement a dazzling bolt of lightening danced across the room, darting towards the Antivan. It shimmered, almost touched tanned flesh, then it vanished.

"It's times like this I'm glad you trained as a Templar, your majesty." Zevran said, the large grin remained on his face despite his near electrocution. With that he gave a bow to Alistair and threw a wink at the glaring Nera before darting out the room with a chuckle.

"Nera, you could've hurt him."

"It would've only shocked him a little, he'd have been fine." Alistair gave a small smile at the pout on the mages face, she looked a lot more like the woman he'd met at Ostagar. Besides the protruding stomach.

Silence settled around them and it wasn't comfortable. They stared at each other, the tension overbearing, waiting for the other to speak. Nera was stuck for something to say. _I'm sorry. You're an idiot, I'm an idiot. I'm sacred._

"Where's my dog?" The question was so abrupt it almost made Alistair laugh, which did much to alleviate the tension between them.

"The adorable mongrel? No doubt tormenting my kitchen staff back at the palace."

"Good."

Nera felt herself relax at the kind look Alistair was giving her. She could do this, she could apologise and tell him the truth. She was not a heartless witch, she'd been bitter and cruel but that was not her and she need to make amends.

She walked, or more likely waddled, over to him, he watched her wearily as if afraid of being attacked. Once she reached Alistair she pulled him down to her height and hugged him. He stiffened initially but then relaxed, she let herself enjoy his strong embrace, his kingly garments felt soft and comforting around her. They stood like that for what felt like an age, each of them enjoying the others warmth, despite her stomach coming between them.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his chest. She felt him stiffen again and almost cursed.

"Nera."

"Yes?"

"You're leaking."

**Next Chapter: New Arrival. **


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